Kick Me – #MagicMoments

Another Monday, another #MagicMoments hosted by the lovely Jaime from The Olivers Madhouse.

Discovering that I was pregnant again was both wonderful and terrifying.  I worried about every twinge, lack of twinge, pain, lack of pain.  I was paranoid from morning till night.  My pregnancy was horrendous, not due to sickness, fatigue or discomfort.  In fact I had none of those things, the actual pregnancy was very easy, but the paranoia was torture.

 

With each milestone that passed, I thought things would get easier, but in fact it just got worse.  At our 20 week scan with our son, we chose not to find out his gender, we wanted the surprise.  Even after he died, I didn’t find out until I delivered him.  With this pregnancy, I had to know, I was afraid that I would be having another boy.  I know that sounds daft, but I was concerned that if I was carrying a boy, I’d view him as a replacement.  I know in reality that wouldn’t have happened, but at the time, it was just another worry in my growing catalogue.  My instincts told me this pregnancy was different and I believed that I was carrying a girl, but my head was in such a mess, I refused to trust my instincts.

 

We discovered that we were indeed having a little girl.  I also found out that I had a low anterior placenta and by 24 weeks, I still couldn’t feel our baby move.  With our son, I had felt him constantly from about 17 weeks, so this worried me.  I even bought myself a Doppler, just so that I would know first if anything bad had happened.  I never wanted another Dr to tell me our baby had died.

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I began to feel tiny movements at 27 weeks, they were only tiny, not the proper kicks and prods that other women felt and they were so muffled that I couldn’t determine any regular movement pattern.  My consultant was wonderful, he began to bring me every week for checkups, he did everything he could to reassure me and I will always be thankful for his care.  At 29 weeks, I was lying in bed when I suddenly had an enormous sensation in my stomach, it was a bit like going down the huge dip of a rollercoaster, my stomach rose into my chest, my head spun slightly and I felt nauseous.  I remember gripping the edge of the mattress with my heart thumping, thinking something awful had just happened. 

 

Then it happened…….. I got a huge kick in the ribs, my first proper kick, a little foot just stretching out and hitting me right in the rib cage.  I actually lay in bed and cried this is what I was desperately waiting for.  She had turned around, her head was down and her feet were now in prime kicking position.  From that moment on, she became a night-time gymnast.  This was a “Magic Moment”, this was a moment I will never forget, a memory I will always cherish.  She was letting me know that she was there and she was just fine. 

I would love to hear your Magic Moments, so why not pop across to The Olivers Madhouse and link up too.


 

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18 thoughts on “Kick Me – #MagicMoments

  1. That is such a lovely ‘magic moment’. When the kicks are coming good and hard all the time, they become a sort of ‘nuisance’ I had never before seen it like this….a reminder that your longed-for baby is doing alright :)

  2. That’s just a wonderful story (in the end). I can’t even begin to understand the anxiety you must have felt after the tragedy of your son – every movement and kick of your daughter must have been the most precious thing in the world – and utter relief for you. So sorry about the boy you lost. X.

    • It was a petrifying and yet amazing experience, I was so afraid that it was never going to happen. Her baby sister started moving at about 18 weeks and she never stopped, I didn’t ever have moments of not feeling her.

  3. Aw that is so special. Really feel for you, must have been such a worrying time mixed with different emotions. Glad she arrived safely and just want to say a huge hug for you xxx

  4. This is wonderful. You must have been so pleased to feel those kicks! Its such a bizarre and wonderful sensation… I used to love lying in the bath watching my stomach moving in every which direction! xx

    • She certainly terrified me for such a long time. I enjoyed her baby sisters pregnancy much more, my placenta was at the back and she moved from about 18 weeks and I used to see little feet poking out!

  5. That must have been an amazing moment for you! It is great that first time you feel a proper kick but it must have been extra special after all you had been through. Fab magic moment!

    • Thank you, everyone that I knew who were pregnant at the same time, were always discussing movements and laughing about it and I was convinced there was something badly wrong that I felt nothing!

  6. That must have been so wonderful feeling her kick. She was obviously reassuring you sang “it’s ok mummy, I’m still here!”. How sweet. Beautiful post and special, special moment xx

    • Thank you Karen, I remember it so vividly, I even remember it was a Tuesday and it was 01.20 in the morning – now that’s sad haha

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