Another Monday, another #MagicMoments hosted by the lovely Jaime from The Olivers Madhouse.
Discovering that I was pregnant again was both wonderful and terrifying. I worried about every twinge, lack of twinge, pain, lack of pain. I was paranoid from morning till night. My pregnancy was horrendous, not due to sickness, fatigue or discomfort. In fact I had none of those things, the actual pregnancy was very easy, but the paranoia was torture.
With each milestone that passed, I thought things would get easier, but in fact it just got worse. At our 20 week scan with our son, we chose not to find out his gender, we wanted the surprise. Even after he died, I didn’t find out until I delivered him. With this pregnancy, I had to know, I was afraid that I would be having another boy. I know that sounds daft, but I was concerned that if I was carrying a boy, I’d view him as a replacement. I know in reality that wouldn’t have happened, but at the time, it was just another worry in my growing catalogue. My instincts told me this pregnancy was different and I believed that I was carrying a girl, but my head was in such a mess, I refused to trust my instincts.
We discovered that we were indeed having a little girl. I also found out that I had a low anterior placenta and by 24 weeks, I still couldn’t feel our baby move. With our son, I had felt him constantly from about 17 weeks, so this worried me. I even bought myself a Doppler, just so that I would know first if anything bad had happened. I never wanted another Dr to tell me our baby had died.
I began to feel tiny movements at 27 weeks, they were only tiny, not the proper kicks and prods that other women felt and they were so muffled that I couldn’t determine any regular movement pattern. My consultant was wonderful, he began to bring me every week for checkups, he did everything he could to reassure me and I will always be thankful for his care. At 29 weeks, I was lying in bed when I suddenly had an enormous sensation in my stomach, it was a bit like going down the huge dip of a rollercoaster, my stomach rose into my chest, my head spun slightly and I felt nauseous. I remember gripping the edge of the mattress with my heart thumping, thinking something awful had just happened.
Then it happened…….. I got a huge kick in the ribs, my first proper kick, a little foot just stretching out and hitting me right in the rib cage. I actually lay in bed and cried this is what I was desperately waiting for. She had turned around, her head was down and her feet were now in prime kicking position. From that moment on, she became a night-time gymnast. This was a “Magic Moment”, this was a moment I will never forget, a memory I will always cherish. She was letting me know that she was there and she was just fine.
I would love to hear your Magic Moments, so why not pop across to The Olivers Madhouse and link up too.
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