English the Impossible Language

After my wander or “dander” through the colourful lingo that makes up Northern Ireland.  I thought it was only fair to look at the English language as a whole.  It really is a tricky language and it is to my own great shame that I am not fluent in another language (I can stumble along in French and hold a fairly simple conversation).  We do somehow “expect” the rest of the world to speak our language and yet by comparison to most other languages English is probably one of the most difficult one to learn.  Full of Homonyms, Homophones and Polysemes, how on earth does a non-English speaker begin to understand some of these;

So the farmer went out to sow seeds near his sow.  His wife was a sewer, but fell into a sewer.  So he taught his sow to sew.

He painted a Bass on the base of the bass.

While hiking my husband said look dear a deer

Do the right thing and write a letter explaining their rights

It was plain to see that the plane was full

The male had to open his mail, he had two letters too.

There they go on their holidays.  They’re going to have a great time

I thought I would die when my hair dye, dyed my hair green

Her beau gave her a bow to put into her hair.  The bow blew into the bough of a tree, he shot an arrow from his bow and it knocked her bow from the bough.  There was much applause so he took a bow!

Come here, I can’t hear you.

The Lord of the manor has a quite annoying manner.

They were a funny pair, he ate a pear and then she had to eat one too.

My aunt was afraid of an ant.

These are of course just a few and probably not sentences we would actually be using, however, it does make me think about just how complicated our language is.  It also makes me have tons of sympathy for the four Polish staff that my husband has.  They are in a workplace of about 60 people all of whom come from within a few miles radius of each other and share the same regional accent.  These four people not only have to speak English in the workplace, but also try to understand conversations occurring between people who all speak quite quickly with very noticeable regional accents.  It can’t be easy!

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